Women have been the target of violence for centuries – resulting in constant domestic violence and even death. According to the National Institute of Justice, one in five women are killed or severely tormented by an intimate partner without warning.

Domestic violence can occur in any household, with or without children involved. Nearly every day, more than three women (living in the United States) are murdered by a spouse, husband, or boyfriend. Children who live in these situations often witness or experience the violence themselves – totaling up to over 10 million children who reside in abusive households.

Yet even as the statistics are true, domestic violence is often (and still) silenced by the authority figure in the family. Women are caused to feel inferior and dependent on their husbands, bringing along a cycle of pain for their entire family when children are entailed. Creating this consistent injustice often makes women feel vulnerable as they continue to be the main victims of abuse and torment.

Christina Aguilera was about seven when she witnessed her mother being violated by her father. Her family moved often, creating an unstable environment for young Aguilera at the time. In her song “I’m OK” released for her “Stripped” album, she claims her home was nothing but a “war” and was often afraid of seeing her mother hurt by her father. In an E! Special documentary on Aguilera, her mother recalls an event in which her daughter was the target of her father at only four-years-old. Coming home, Aguilera’s mom saw her daughter dripping blood from her mouth after being hit by Aguilera’s father for waking him up.

The signs are never so apparent because arguments often seem temporary and conclude in ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘Please forgive me.’ With children involved, the violence intensifies as children are obstacles for the perpetrators, making kids the sub-victims. Although Aguilera was not her father’s main target, she experienced much distress because like many other children, she could not do anything but stand by and be a witness.

Children grow to feel nervous arriving home or being at home with an abusive parent. Consistent abuse mentally torments children and they will grow weary, fearful, and depressed. The fear will increase to a certain level that influences children to run away from home, cause traumatic stress, or can even lead to suicide.

Many victims and their children are submissive because their attachment to their spouse and father is still so strong. Fears of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse are also reasons for remaining in detrimental relationships. The idea of a superior manning the relationship forces the women to submit to their spouses, and therefore, dramatically reducing safety and the ability to take command of one’s self. Female victims’ mentality is often deteriorated to the point in which they feel at fault for their own abuse.

“All I want[ed] to do is make him happy,” says Andrea, a victim of domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not dense in any particular race, region, economic background, or demographic. This type of abuse occurs in any household and the biggest harzard lies in those who have the capability to kill. In a 2007 study done by the Women’s Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh (WCS), 56.5% of females are murdered by a current or former intimate partner.

“The greatest risk factor for victimization is simply being a woman,” states the web site for WCS. The idea of male domination is traditional thinking for any man. Those who feel this way tend to develop masochistic feelings when making women feel defenseless and feeble. Therefore, the help for these victims are much needed.

Aguilera and her mother are major supporters of the WCS. Her mother, Shelly Kearns, was on the board for WCS in 2003. Kearns was able to pull her family out of the chokehold of her ex-husband Fausto. With barely just enough money to survive, Kearns struggled to provide a new life for her family apart from Fausto.

Aguilera told Zooey exclusively, “Growing up in a family with domestic violence and watching my mom take us out of the situation and be strong was so empowering.” This recognition for her mother shows that with just a step out of a tight boundary, a new life is waiting for victims to grasp and exploit.

The biggest obstacle, apart from the actual abuse, is telling someone else about it. Recognizing the signs and accepting the facts is a big part in moving forward. Refusing to do so increases the chance of being severely hurt, both mothers and children. It is natural to feel afraid of leaving and natural to want normality in one’s current life. However, refuge cannot be sought if repudiated. No matter how awful the current stage may seem, there is a guaranteed new life right outside one’s home.

“The control, now, about my life is through my hands and not on the end of someone else’s,” Andrea states.

And support is always available. “My mom has been such a big influence on who I am today,” Aguilera shares with Zooey. Aguilera is living proof that any domestic violence victim can achieve a new life. Women, especially, are capable of empowerment and have the opportunities to recreate themselves from horrid pasts. Aguilera frequently thanks her mother for taking she and her younger sister out of the hands of her sadistic father, and now she and her family live comfortable lives.

“[My mom] proved to me that women are capable of anything and are so strong.” Empowerment begins with support and it ends with one’s own will to make changes.